In a world where we are so connected, how come we are so disconnected from ourselves? Our play. Our ability to be kind to us.

I watched the movie IF with my family this weekend and what a beautiful tribute to our human experience and how sometimes, through trials, adults forget that we are all young at heart. And we all need each other. Maybe we need ourselves more than ever. Let me explain.

I have worked with thousands of clients in the last 20 years, and in both research and in my experience, eight out of 10 women really struggle to like their body. Meaning, they do not feel comfortable in their own skin, whether it be their arms, their stomach or maybe even the look of their legs, face or thighs. At some point, shaming parts of us became the norm. Maybe our culture of beauty contributes to that, maybe the culture of dieting or maybe even the culture of medicine. We begin to dictate our worth based upon numbers of our weight, our heart, or even numbers in food. We then begin to internalize we are good enough or not good enough based upon these numbers and that stress in our bodies is intense. If our internal dialogue is we are not good enough, it can show up in so many different ways. Some of the ways are people pleasing, chronic dieting, striving for perfection, procrastination, over-achieving, or multi-tasking. We are trying to be “perfect” in our health, in our bodies or even in our food choices. This effort can look harmless and even be praised. This effort however can zap the joy out of the experience and lead to burnout. And the journey of perfection led to ultimate failure. So we begin again….

The movie IF was a beautiful reminder that we in fact, do need to play. Play actually is one of the best actionable steps to be kind. It brings us back to how we felt before our egos were formed. Before we felt the need to show up perfect. The characters in the movie were wild, weird and unique and each one served a specific purpose. Not one was perfect. Yet we all have a perfectly imperfect story, IF you are willing to live it. So be kind. This is hard and nothing great is ever easy.